Being 18 and 230 lbs is the worst. My friends always tell me I dont look big, or that I do but nothing really jiggles, besides my giant boobs, which contrary to every girl that comes into contact with them, are a curse not a blessing. Needless to say, I've pretty much been the token fat friends since third grade. Although I've tried to lose weight, and my tried I mean I ate vegetables for two days in a row a couple of times, I've accomplished nothing. But for the first time In my life I'm actually doing it. I mean techincally it's only been five day, but if you knew me you would know that five days in a row is a miracle considering I can't stick to anything for more than two days at a time.
My goal is to lose 40 lbs by my 19th birthday on July 30th. Today is February 11th and I weight 229 lbs. Eventaully I want to weigh 120 lbs, which is normal for someone of my height (5'5). I want to wear high waisted shorts and crop tops, and go to the beach and wear a bathing suit, and go to a party and feel like im just as pretty as all the other girls there. I want to be truly happy for the first time in 3 years, and I want to meet a guy and feel comfortable and beautiful around him. I was to go to a bar and kiss a random dude and wear tight dresses and not worry about back fat, or that gross arm pit fat thing that happen when you wear anything strapless.
I don't think skinny girls realizehpw much I envy them. They take their bodies for granted, but how else are you going to take it when you've been thin your entire life. It bothers me that skinny girls don't just haow good they have it, but then again who am I to judge someone else, when people see me walking down the street and probaly think all I do is sit on my ass and eat. Which is true, thats what I've done me entire life, but it ends now. I'm making this blog for myself and not telling anyone about it, so I can go back and read it once I'm at my goal weight, and realize how crazy I was to keep delaying my weight-loss for so many years.
Toodles,
Favs
